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In This Issue: "I'll See It When I Believe It"

Website of Interests: Creative Visualization

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Article: "I'll See It When I Believe It"

 

That's right. You didn't read the title wrong. I'll SEE it when I BELIEVE it. Not the skeptic's oft quoted "I'll BELIEVE it when I SEE it."

 

In my nearly 14 years of doing therapy I've witnessed first hand the malleable nature of so called "reality." Sometimes, I begin to think of reality as just someone's deeply held opinion or belief. In fact, I've seen how powerful it is when someone challenges or changes a long held or unexamined belief.  When they do start to question and ask "Says who?" reality starts to change as well.

 

For example, I teach clients how to visualize and affirm positive outcomes to situations they're worried about or feel pessimistic about. I call this "worrying about things going right" or "positive worry."  Negative worry consists of vividly imagining a situation going wrong. The clients who are most successful in turning things around are able to form a vivid picture in their mind's eye of a positive outcome. As a colleague of mine once said, "If your going to create a reality in your imagination, why not make it be flattering to you?"

 

A powerful example from my own life of this new way of looking at things came when I was studying for my prelims -- or what I like to call "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Psychology, But Were Afraid To Ask."  In preparation for this comprehensive exam, diligent grad students will study for 3-6 months, practically living in the library, digesting and synthesizing tons of material.  The stress of prelims likely has caused even the most earnest and dedicated student to consider a change of career. Either that, or the stress may have launched a fresh batch of alcoholics.

 

The overarching belief about prelims is that the entire process - from start to finish - would be awful. Indeed, it SHOULD be awful - a sort of trial by fire or rite of passage. For some unknown reason, I decided upon a paradigm shift right at that critical stage of my academic career.  I decided to change my "reality" and make prelims fun.  I wondered what would happen if I just studied when I felt like it, instead of forcing myself to do so when I wasn't inclined.  Looking back, I guess you could say I trusted myself.

 

Taking this approach, I found myself studying at odd hours, sometimes briefly, sometimes in the "zone" for hours.  Plus - here's the point of this long set up - I would practice visualizing the day of the exam down to the tiniest detail and seeing myself go through the day calmly and with confidence.

 

Guess what! It went EXACTLY as I had imagined it - from going mentally "blank" in the shower right down to the type of paper I was given to write my essays. Oh, and of course, I passed on my first attempt. Whee!

 

So.......

 

*What ideas do you hold about reality and the way things work that need to be challenged?

*If you think yourself fearful, ask "Says who?" and imagine yourself acting bravely or assertively.

*If you think you will fail in a certain situation, ask "Says who?" and imagine your self acting confidently and effectively in that situation.

*If you think you can't be, do or have what you want, ask "Says who?" and imagine yourself acting on your wants and getting what you want.

When you SEE it, you'll believe it and are more likely to take action in that positive direction.

 

In sum, trying worrying about things going RIGHT for a change. Go over and over it. Truly worry positively for at least as much or more than you'd worry negatively. Wear a positive expectation rut in your brain, so that when the situation comes along, you will follow the road to success. Then when the situation goes as you imagined it, you can shout, "I KNEW IT!"

 

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Website of Interest

Search the web using "creative visualization." You will run across Shakti Gwain's work at some point. Here's an excerpt from her book

http://cornerstone.wwwhubs.com/gawain2.htm

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You may contact Dr. Vaillancourt at
(618) 549-5935 to learn more about how visualization can work for you.
Please visit my website at http://www.GotStressGetHelp.com
Email address: DrAnnette@hughes.net

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Copyright © 2004 Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.