Article: Expand Your Possibilities

Why don’t we do things we know are good for us or move us towards our stated goals?  I suspect it’s either fear or we don’t believe we are able to, or that we don’t see ourselves as the kind of person who does those things.  In short, fear, blocking or competing beliefs, and a fixed sense of identity keep us from accomplishing long term goals, such as weight loss, saving for college or retirement, paying off credit cards, or mastering a new skill.

In psychology we call this “resistance.”  It tends to show up in our language as what I call the “yah, but’s.”  For example, you might want to save more money for a down payment on a house, but when it comes right down to doing it, you spend the money elsewhere.  “Well, I was going to put $250 a month into a savings account for the house (yah), but I really needed a vacation. So I went to Florida for a week, even though I couldn’t afford it.”

I confess. I want things to come easily.  I have to laugh at how silly I can be about this sometimes. For example, I play the violin. I have talent. I buy a lot of music books, but I don’t practice. Do I think that I’m going to reach my goal of playing in the SIU Community Orchestra just because I buy a lot of music books? I must think so because I’m not doing what it takes to get there…namely, put in the practice time.  I want it just to be so because I want it. There’s a part of me not willing to work for it.  (Okay, if Ed Benyas is reading this, I didn’t mean it. I will start practicing.)  My “yah, but” is that “I’d love to practice more (yah), but I have to work.”

I’ve been writing a lot about EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) these last few articles.  This is because I’m testing it with myself and using it with clients and have seen powerful results. I’m also following the evolving research on its effectiveness.  One of the most powerful things EFT allows us to do is make new choices because it helps eliminate the stuck places that keep us doing the same things that don't work.  Remember, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. EFT truly “frees” up the energy that is tied up in the resistance, which allows you to move forward.

In order to grow beyond what we think is possible; we need to be able to stretch outside of our comfort zones.  We need to be able to approach and do the things that limit us or make us anxious, fearful or tense.  EFT helps reduce fears, change old belief patterns, and eliminate resistance, thus expanding possibilities.

For example, do you ever get hurt by what people say to you or get discouraged trying to reach your goals.  I have, at times.  I used to either obsessing about it, i.e. why would they say that? Or blame myself, “What’s the matter with me that I can’t stick to things?”  The results were that I'd either get more upset because of the obsessing, or I'd feel bad about myself, instead of recommitting to my goal.  In other words, the problem didn't resolve and the momentum was lost.

 Using EFT, I now handle my upset differently and I quickly shake off the self-judgment.  I tap on the meridian points until I am no longer upset or until I feel a positive shift in my energy toward my goal.  Then I have a new option.  I can sometimes choose to do nothing when my feelings are hurt. This is a powerful and positive choice in some situations. Or I can respond more appropriately, instead of react.  Instead of giving up my goal or spending days feeling bad about myself, I can just resume once I free myself of the self-judgment.

So watch your language for “yah, but’s” and monitor your self-limiting beliefs about what is possible for you to have, do or be.  You can release those and live a more satisfying life. 

Announcing my new Blog: EFT Notes

To learn more about EFT go to http://EFTnotes.blogspot.com.
 

You may contact Dr. Vaillancourt at
(618) 549-5935 for help with projections
Please visit my website at http://www.GotStressGetHelp.com
Email address: DrAnnette@hughes.net

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 Copyright © 2006 Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.